Random Inuyasha Stuffs!
by Hikaru-hime
Summary: What happens when donuts attack? Do Inuyasha and the others really decide to play STRIP POKER! Find out here! Please RR! Rating to be safe.
1. Donut Holes

Hey! It's Hikaru-hime here. I changed my pen name so yeah... Anyway! This, is just a random Inuyasha fan-fic. Lots of inside jokes between my best friend, cousins, and I. But yeah, here ya go! BTW, you'll understand this fic and everything if you read through Still Can't Find What Keeps Me Here (my other fan-fic). But yeah, if there was no other drama and stuff like that, this is what I'd imagine Inuyasha to be like!  
  
Disclaimers: I do not own Inuyasha... sadly...  
  
Warnings: This fic contains mindless, stupid, ludacris acts. Restrictions apply, results may vary. Apply only to underarms and keep out of reach of children.  
  
Chapter 1: Donut Holes!  
  
Kasumi came back to the Feudal Era and met back up with her parents and the others at Koga's wolf den. In her hands she held a case of donut holes.  
  
Koga waved to his mate. "Hey! You're back."  
  
Kasumi replied happily, "Yup, and I brought some donut holes with me!"  
  
She held up the case whilst everyone but Kagome glanced at it strangely. Koga reached inside to grab one, but jumped back when the case started singing opera style and the donuts started 'glowing.' Everyone got a little freaked out.  
  
"That's the strangest thing I've ever seen. What'd you do to it Kasumi?" Miroku said whilst coming to the box.  
  
Kasumi sweat dropped and replied, "I didn't do anything, Monk!"  
  
Miroku held up his hands in defeat. "Okay, okay, I believe you."  
  
He opened it himself, but instead, got crickets chirping. He closed it. Then opened it again. More crickets.  
  
Koga came up next to the confused Monk and opened the case himself. The opera singing started up again and kept going until he closed it.  
  
"That's the strangest thing I've ever heard," Sango implied.  
  
"Same here," said Kasumi.  
  
Miroku tried once more to make the donuts 'praise him' like 'they' did Koga, but instead got a different response. He opened it, and one donut flew out and hit him in the head.  
  
"Ahhh! The donuts are attacking me!" Miroku cried as he jumped back, knocking both him and Koga to the ground.  
  
Koga growled and pushed Miroku off of him. Kasumi shrugged and took a donut hole, and stuffed it in her mouth. She chewed happily ignoring the fact that they had minds of their own.  
  
"The donuts only praise my mate because he's special," Kasumi put in.  
  
Miroku set his staff aside as he stood in front of the donuts.  
  
"Praise me!" he said and opened it again. Nothing...  
  
He pushed Koga in front of him. The singing and glowing started up. Then Miroku pushed him aside and stood in front of them again. More chirping. Koga: praising. Miroku: chirping. Koga: praising. Miroku standing next to Koga: Koga's side praising, Miroku's side throwing another donut at him. Miroku dressed up as Koga: Two donuts thrown with a wholesome "Boo! You stink!"  
  
Miroku stomped off angrily whilst the others laughed at him.  
  
Sango put a hand on his shoulder and said, "Don't worry Miroku, I still love you."  
  
"You do?" Miroku asked happily.  
  
"No... But! You're a good friend."  
  
Miroku glared at her as the others laughed at him again.  
  
"Cut the praising crud and let's just eat the darn things," said Inuyasha as he opened the box.  
  
A donut was thrown at his head. Out of surprise, he fell backwards. More laughing continued as he took the donut box from Kasumi and threw it on the ground, stomping all over it. Everyone stared at the smashed donut holes as silence settled in under Inuyasha's angry huffs. He set his hands on his hips triumphantly.  
  
"No more donut problems!" He said.  
  
The staring went from the donuts to Inuyasha. He glared back.  
  
"What?!"  
  
"Nothing..." Kagome replied.  
  
Shippo got a forlorn look on his face.  
  
"What's the matter Shippo?" Sango asked and kneeled down next to him.  
  
Shippo sniffled and replied, "I didn't get any donuts..."  
  
Kasumi smacked Inuyasha upside the head and said, "Nice job, Dad. Now poor little Shippo has no donuts."  
  
Inuyasha growled and clamped his fist tight, holding it in the air. "Poor Shippo?! You just smacked my head!"  
  
"So?"  
  
Inuyasha paused and let his hand fall back at his side. He snorted and crossed his arms over his chest, turning his back to his daughter.  
  
"Aww... I feel unloved... Now I'm gonna cry!" Kasumi said.  
  
She started to pretend cry. Koga came up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders, bringing her into a hug.  
  
"Nice job, mutt-face," he said.  
  
Inuyasha quickly turned back around and screamed, "What do you mean?! She's the one who started it!"  
  
He saw Koga hugging her and got angry. "Quit touching her!"  
  
Kasumi broke away from Koga's hug and pointed at him, screaming, "We're mates now! He can touch me if he wants!"  
  
"Not if I have anything to do with it!" Inuyasha argued back.  
  
"I'm not a little girl anymore!"  
  
"You're still my little girl, and I can still tell you what to do!"  
  
Kasumi lowered her voice and said calmly, "Fine. Since I'm so young, I should go back home."  
  
Inuyasha's face turned into a worried one as Kasumi began to exit the cave. "Wait, don't go!"  
  
Koga ran toward her and followed. Inuyasha got angry again and followed Koga, warning him if he touched Kasumi again.  
  
Kagome sighed. "All this over a freaking batch of donut holes..."  
  
"I know, tell me about it," Sango replied.  
  
They both turned around to see Miroku stomping all over the half-mashed donuts.  
  
"Die! Die you freaking non-monk-praising holes of donuts!!" he yelled.  
  
Shippo, Sango, and Kagome all stared and sweat dropped at the maniacal Miroku.  
  
XXXXXXXX  
  
Chapter end! There's gonna be more random chapters so stick around! On the next episode of "Random Inu-chan," Naraku pays a visit! But are things going to actually be serious? Hang on to your underwear and return for the next episode of "Random Inu-chan!" P.S. Sorry I could not finish Still Can't Find What Keeps Me Here, you guys! There's still a couple more chapters left that I couldn't update because of my computer, but please forgive me! Hopefully I can fix that problem! 


	2. Do It

Moo-haha! How'd ya'll like the first chapter? Confused? Well, I'll explain. Ya see, my two cousins and I are very strange together, like most people with their best friends. (If you're not weird, than you're not what people would like to call 'normal') But yeah, we were role playing (kinda geeky, but, it's fun with them). Sarah was Sango, Aimee was Kagome, and I was every other person from Inuyasha. Their Dad had brought some donut holes and when I went to grab one (playing Koga) Sarah was being really random and started opera singing while holding the top up for me. Then, I played as Miroku and she called out, "Boo! You stink!" and Miroku, as in me, just stood there waiting for the donuts to praise him. But yeah, there's the explanation. Every chapter in this story has to do with the randomness of my girlfriend Kuiya and my cousins Sarah and Aimee. Enough ranting! More random!  
  
Disclaimers: Come on, I own Inuyasha. Everyone knows tha- Okay, so I don't own Inuyasha. You don't have to rub it in, gosh! (Napoleon Dynamite voice! Hehe)  
  
Warnings: Drugs are just bad, mmkay?!  
  
Chapter 2: Do It  
  
Kasumi came back, forgiving her father for his rudeness. Inuyasha had forgotten that she was pregnant knowing she'd be emotional over close to nothing. Anywho! Kagome and her daughter agreed to never bring donut holes to the Feudal Era again. Things happen...  
  
This time, Koga met up with Kasumi and the others without his comrades. Since his mate was carrying his pup, he never really wanted to leave her. He wanted to make sure she was always under protection. Kasumi knew that Inuyasha would also be there to protect her first, but she didn't mind being the center of attention for two of her favorite guys.  
  
For a little while, things were... "normal"... until the day Naraku came. (Dramatic music plays in the backround)  
  
"Naraku! What do you want?" Inuyasha demanded.  
  
Naraku stood there in his baboon puppet suit. This time, it was the real him. Not the puppet. You could see his devious grin under the monkey mask.  
  
Inuyasha and Miroku stood protectively in front of Sango, Shippo, Kagome and Kasumi. Koga wrapped his arms around Kasumi's waist and pulled her close, glaring hard at Naraku.  
  
"I have no interest in sparring, Inuyasha," Naraku said.  
  
Inuyasha ignored his remark and made a grab for his Tetsusaiga. Growling, he replied, "Then what do you really want? Kasumi?"  
  
Naraku shook his head. Everyone was shocked.  
  
"What I want is the Shikon Jewel," he pointed out.  
  
Now everyone wasn't so shocked.  
  
Kasumi said, "Well, you can't have it."  
  
"What if I asked 'please'?"  
  
"Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope," she replied shaking her head and leaning into Koga. (if you've ever seen Looney Toones, and you've seen the one with an embarrassed vulture saying that while blushing and shaking his head after his mother tells him to kill Bugs Bunney, then you could imagine how Kasumi looked and sounded. Hehe)  
  
Inuyasha charged at Naraku with his Tetsusaiga only to be stopped by Kagura's Dance of Blades. (yes, she appeared out of nowhere. or maybe, she appeared from under Naraku's suit. moo-haha!)  
  
"No fair!" Inuyasha called out. "That's cheating, using your darn incarnations to help you..."  
  
Naraku ignored Inuyasha and glanced over to Kasumi. He said, "Come on. Give me the Shikon Jewel. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it." (XD)  
  
Kasumi stepped away from Koga and crossed her arms over her chest. "Man, and I was gonna give it to you too. But noOoOoOo... you just HAD to be all weird."  
  
Naraku could then be seen with his head hanging low. All the good dudes stared at Kasumi.  
  
"You were going to give it to him?!" Miroku asked.  
  
Kasumi sweat dropped and replied angrily, "NO! But you gotta admit, Naraku sounded pretty hilarious right then."  
  
There were nods and then a few stifled laughs. Soon, the laughs came bursting out of everyone. They've never heard Naraku like that before.  
  
Naraku turned around and began leaving, when suddenly, Kasumi came up to him. She held the Shikon Jewel in front of her.  
  
"Here, you can have it," she said.  
  
The laughs stopped abruptly as they stared at Kasumi in surprise.  
  
Naraku beamed a great smile. "You mean it?"  
  
"Sure. Go on. Take it."  
  
Sango called out after her, "Kasumi, what are you doing?!"  
  
Soon Miroku's voice echoed, "Don't do it, Kasumi!"  
  
Naraku smiled again underneath the hood of his baboon suit when he began to grab for the Jewel. Kasumi quickly jerked it back.  
  
"Psyche!" she said laughing.  
  
Naraku's head hung low once more.  
  
"Okay, I'm sorry. Here ya go."  
  
She held out the Jewel again, only to be jerked back every time Naraku made a grab for it. This went on repeatedly for a very long time.  
  
"Come on already, just give me the Jewel!" Naraku demanded. "Come on. Do it. Do it. Do it."  
  
Kasumi sweat dropped and said, "Ya know, that's really getting old."  
  
Naraku apologized and called for Kagura. He sniffled and said, "Fine then. I guess I'm not wanted."  
  
Kasumi sucked in a breath and replied letting the air out, "Yeah... you're really not..."  
  
Naraku growled. Soon enough, he was out of sight and gone. Kasumi started doing a victory dance.  
  
"Hah! Easiest Naraku battle ever!" She cried out happily.  
  
The group sweat dropped.  
  
"THAT, was a battle?" Inuyasha questioned.  
  
Kasumi shot him a glare. "Yes... it was a battle of wits. Sort of... not really... no... uh, shut up!"  
  
The group sighed and began to leave in the opposite direction of Naraku, back to Kaede's hut.  
  
Kasumi blinked before calling after them. "Wait! Mom? Dad? Koga? Anyone? Aw crud. Wait for meeee!!!"  
  
She ran after them trying to catch up.  
  
XXXXXXXXX  
  
Haha! End! Funny? Not? Well, tell me! Review! Flames are welcome. I couldn't care less about your darn opinions. So, bring 'em on!! Mwahahahahahaha!!! But, take heed, that flames will end up backfiring. I say, lock your pets inside, turn on all the lights, and lock up your children for I know where you live, and in Kuiya's words, I know who you sleep with!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!! Sorry... stopping... 


	3. Strip Poker!

Mmkay, the last chapter had to do with my all my girlfriend, Sarah and Aimee, and myself. After watching Starsky and Hutch, I thought about how funny it would be if Naraku stood there in his baboon suit saying, "Do it, do it, do it" multiple times, seeing his pupils get all big each time he said it with his little baboon face thing moving up and down. We couldn't stop laughing after I explained. But yeah, here's the next chapter!

Disclaimers: I own Inuyasha! (opposite day!)

Warnings: Your pill will cry when Stephen's gay! I mean, you will die in seven days! If you read this fic… mwahaha!!

Chapter 3: Strip Poker!

The next day! Again! Dun, dun, dun!! The girls, Inuyasha, Koga, and Miroku were engaging in a nice, wholesome game, of Texas Hold 'Em whilst Kirara, Shippo, Ginta, and Hakkaku stood and watched. Seeing's how Kasumi had forgotten to bring playing chips, they just bet on different items.

"I still don't see why you didn't want to play Strip Poker," said Miroku.

Kagome glared at him whilst Sango decided to slap him.

"No dirty thoughts, Miroku," she warned.

Miroku sighed as he rubbed the dark red handprint. "My apologies…"

Kasumi grinned. "I wanna play Strip Poker!"

Everyone stared at Kasumi strangely.

"I'm standing right here you know!" Shippo pointed out.

Kasumi's head hung low. "Aw… no fun…"

Koga, holding one hand of cards, the other grabbing around Kasumi's waist, pulled her closer to him and said, "I wish we could play that, too."

He then leaned down and kissed her cheek. Kasumi felt a little giddy inside as she giggled and slid onto his lap. They didn't care if the other could see their hand (of cards).

"Are we gonna play or what?!" Inuyasha asked; frustrated.

"Sure Inuyasha," Kagome replied.

"Oh! Before we start playing, Mom, did Hojo sign the stupid thing for the pregnancy class thing?" Kasumi asked.

Kagome's eyes widened. "Kasumi! Don't mention 'you know who' in front of your father!"

Kasumi crouched and replied, "Oh, right. Sorry, it slipped."

Inuyasha glared hard at Kagome and asked, "Who's Hojo?"

"No one," Kasumi and Kagome answered at the same time.

Inuyasha stood up with one fist in the air, letting his hand of cards fall to the ground. "Kagome, Kasumi, you two better fess up or I'll-- Wait a minute… Kagome, your scent has changed a bit…"

"I've noticed that two…" Koga pointed out, slanting his eyes at Kagome.

Kasumi stood up and sat next to her mother saying, "Knock it off. It's none of your guys' business."

"Kagome," Sango began, "are you going out with another man?"

Kagome's face flushed red. Everyone gasped. She was sleeping with this Hojo guy!

Inuyasha got a very hurt expression on his face. He decided he'd just leave. And he did. Kagome followed him and started calling out his name.

Kasumi watched and bit on her bottom lip. "I really need to learn to keep my mouth shut…"

"Don't be so hard on yourself, Kasumi," said Shippo.

Miroku concurred. "Yeah, some things just slip out. It's not your fault."

XxXxXxXx

The next day, things seemed to be back to normal. But Inuyasha had not returned. Kagome and Kasumi blamed themselves harshly. They decided to play poker again to take their minds off of Inuyasha.

"Koga! You forgot to burn it again!" Kasumi called out.

Koga blinked before remembering what burning a card meant. "Oh! Yeah… heheh, sorry!"

This time, he put the last card drawn back into the deck. He shuffled them, took the top card and slid it to the bottom, and put down the final card to make a 'river.'

Inuyasha came into the wolf den with no pants on. He had a giant leaf wrapped around his waist. Everyone stared in shock.

"Don't just stand there! Get me some pants!" he demanded.

Kagome threw her two cards to the ground and walked up to Inuyasha. "Where have you been all night? You had me worried sick!"

"Why does it matter where I've been all night?" Inuyasha asked back.

Kasumi gasped. "Oh my God! You've been sleeping with a prostitute!"

Inuyasha flinched greatly and replied, "How did you know?!"

Kasumi blinked. The room became silent. Finally she said, "Actually… I was just kidding…"

Inuyasha glanced down at Koga. "How come you're wearing a leaf too?"

"Shut up, dog breath. My skirt is being washed…" Koga replied. "I don't go off sleeping with sluts just because I feel a little jealous, unlike some people I know…"

Inuyasha felt as if he was going to kill him. He didn't even realize that Kagome had left until Shippo started calling after her.

Just then Ginta came into the den and announced, "Koga! Your skirt's done washing!"

Inuyasha ran by and took the skirt. He didn't even turn to see Koga's confused expression.

"What the heck is going on?" Sango asked.

"Is this some kind of new strip poker that Kasumi didn't mention?" Miroku asked, ignoring Sango's question.

Kasumi replied to Miroku, "I think it is."

She gave a seductive grin to Koga as she knew he had no more skirt. She did love a man in a skirt, but no skirt with nothing under was even better. Koga grinned back but knew he'd have to run after Inuyasha for his garment. So he did.

A few hours later, Inuyasha returned with Koga and Kagome. Kagome and him weren't on speaking terms.

"Uhh… Koga… sweetie… you still don't have your skirt…" Kasumi pointed out.

"I know," Koga replied. "This stupid mutt sold it so he could buy his own pair of pants."

Inuyasha snorted as he walked by and sat next to Kasumi. She scoot away from him and over to Koga. Everyone was angry at Inuyasha.

"What?!" he asked.

"Nothing…" they all replied at the same time.

Inuyasha sighed. "Look, if it's about the whole, hooker thing, I'm sorry! Kagome… I really do love you. Besides, I only paid a quick visit to Kikyo. I don't know what she did to my pants. Truly, I didn't even sleep with her…"

Kagome got even angrier. "You went and saw Kikyo?!"

"It's no different than you seeing Hokie!" Inuyasha replied.

"It's Hojo! And I'm not even in love with him!"

More and more arguing went on.

"Strip poker anyone?" Miroku asked.

Kasumi beamed a grin until everyone else replied, "NO!"

"Fine then. I bet Koga!" Kasumi cried out; shoving Koga into the pot.

Sango blinked. "You can bet people?"

"Sure!"

Koga turned around and asked, "What do you mean?! What are they going to do with me?!"

Kasumi shrugged. "Don't know don't care. But don't worry, I have a good hand."

Sango bet Miroku and Shippo. Kasumi started to worry. But! She had doubles!

"Hah! Say bye-bye to Miroku, 'cause I have doubles!" Kasumi said showing her hand.

Sango shook her head. "I wouldn't say that, Kasumi. Read 'em and weep."

She held out her hand to show that with her cards and the river, there was a Full House.

Kasumi's eyes widened. Being blunt, she just said, "Crap…"

Of course, they didn't truly bet people. It was just for laughs. But it sure did scare the heck out of the guys. Unfortunately, Inuyasha and Kagome weren't even paying attention. They just wouldn't stop arguing. Which sucks for them, huh?

XXXXXX

Narf! End! Hehe…


	4. Of Birds and Wolves

Wow… long time no update. Yeah, anywho, sorry for such a long delay. I was worrying about all sorts of stories, songs, and poems that I was working on and almost completely forgot about this one. Almost… o.O But yeah, here we go.

Chapter 4: Of Birds and Wolves

Inside the wolf den, Koga, Kasumi, Ginta, and Hakkaku were discussing, "important" matters…

Kasumi, in an Italian mafia voice, said to Koga, "I'm sorry… but my… 'associates, ' cannot wait any longer for the delivery of…" she paused and looked around, "the stuff…"

Koga and the other two were highly amused by this. They started laughing and asked her what "the stuff" was.

Kasumi replied, "The stuff,' is codename for candy bars."

Ginta tilted his head to one side. "For what bars?"

Kasumi smiled and reached behind her back where she took a candy bar out of nowhere. She held it up to Hakkaku and said, "This my friend is a candy bar."

Hakkaku said bluntly, "But I'm not the one who asked what a candy bar was…"

"Uh, I knew that," Kasumi replied and turned to Ginta. "This my friend is a candy bar."

Koga sniffed it and asked, "What's it supposed to do?"

"If it's not toxic, it's edible!!" Kasumi said beaming a great smile.

"Are you saying it could be toxic?" Hakkaku asked.

Kasumi explained, "On Halloween, if you're not careful, it very well could be."

Ginta was again confused. "Halloween?"

Kasumi sighed. She thought for a moment. "Halloween… what is Halloween? Well, Halloween is… well it's when you uh… you see these dead guys… um… this one chick was like… Hm, Halloween…"

The three wolf demons stared at her; still confluzzled.

"Random subject change!!" Kasumi called out abruptly.

The wolf demons got startled and shrieked.

Still beaming a smile, Kasumi said, "Hakkaku's hair looks like a bird's hair, man."

Hakkaku was even more lost. "Bird's hair? But I'm a wolf demon…"

"What's your point? Ya know, you could be related to those Birds of Paradise…" Kasumi said and looked at him suspiciously.

All three demons called out, "The Birds of Paradise?! Where?!"

A snicker escaped Kasumi as she said, "He very well could be in this very room!"

They all looked around until Ginta and Koga's glances brought them to Hakkaku. They screamed and hit behind Kasumi. Their inferior minds made it easy for Kasumi to toy with them.

"I wouldn't piss him off," she said. "You know he's mad when his hair flails up like that."

Kasumi imitated this by bringing her fingers together and putting them on her head. Her eyes expanded as well as her fingers, making it look like Hakkaku's original hairstyle. "Caw…"

Koga poked out from behind Kasumi and pointed a finger at Hakkaku. "You're not really a Harpy bird, are you?"

"Not in any way, boss, I swear!" Hakkaku said.

"But seriously, Hak," Kasumi began approaching him, putting an arm around his shoulders, "can I call you Hak? Anyway, I think you're the man. You're cool. So, there…"

Hakkaku stood still. "Hak? That still makes me sound like a bird… and I'm a wolf…"

Kasumi thought for a moment. "You're right… But you know tha--"

WE INTERRUPT THIS FAN FICTION TO BRING YOU THE DANCING BANANA!!!

Banana: (( dance dance )) "Peanut buttah jellay. Peanut buttah jellay. Peanut buttah jellay. Peanut buttah--"

(( record scratch )) (( Kasumi appears again, angry ))

Kasumi: Hey! This is our Random thing here!

( Back to the story)

Kasumi cleared her voice and said, "Ahem. Anyway, as I was saying before we so rudely were interrupted--"

Interrupting voice dude: I wasn't being rude!"

Kasumi screamed back into the air, "Yes you were! Now stop inter--"

Interrupting voice dude: I wasn't rude and I'm not interrupt--"

Crowd of random people: Alright already! Get on with the fic!!"

Interrupting voice dude: Sheesh, how rude…"

Kasumi rubbed her temples. "Great! Now I forgot what I was gonna say!!"

The Dancing Banana started dancing by Kasumi and the three wolf demons. Koga knelt down and picked up the small banana.

"Ooh! Banana!" he said happily.

Koga unpeeled the banana and took a bite, smiling.

Banana: Ack! (( dies ))

Ginta pointed to it and said, "Uh, boss, I think that banana was alive…"

(( crickets chirp ))

Koga questioned back, "So?"

Kasumi pumped her fist into the air and said, "Yes! Best reply ever!"

Koga threw the peel on the ground and grabbed Kasumi around the waist. He yanked her close to him and pressed his lips firmly on hers. Kasumi was startled, but kissed back. They then sat on the ground together, making out.

Ginta and Hakkaku decided to take their leave. On the way out, Hakkaku slipped on the banana peel and bumped into Ginta who bumped into the Interrupting voice dude. Then they shared Kasumi's candy bar and all was well.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Wow, that took me ten minutes to write. It was fun, though. Hehe… I love that saying, "If it's not toxic, it's edible!" I should make a shirt like that and wear it to school and stuff. Yeah, anyway, review!


End file.
